Cancel the Pity Party

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Who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.

Psalm 103:4 (ESV)

Many verses in scripture feel like a lifeline. For me, Psalm 103:4 is one of them.

Psalm 103 is a song of gratitude. Written by David, the psalm is a heartfelt expression of praise for God’s faithfulness in our lives. Verse four describes our God as both powerful and tender. It depicts the journey of redemption: from the depths of despair to the heights of divine love.

He Redeems Your Life from the Pit

Most of us have been in the pit at some point and know what it feels like to be there. Some of us are there right now.

When we’re in the pit, we feel hopelessly overwhelmed by circumstances mostly beyond our control. For some, the pit is chronic depression. For others, it’s grief, failure, addiction, or shame. Sometimes, the pit is of our own making. Other times, we’re thrown in by life’s cruelty or others’ actions. No matter how we got there, it’s dark, lonely, and discouraging.

But David reminds us that God is a Redeemer. He does more than look down into the pit with pity—He reaches in and pulls us out. The word redeem means to rescue, to deliver, to buy back what was lost. God is in the business of rescue missions. And no pit is too deep for His reach.

When the Pit Becomes a Pity Party

Let’s be honest. Sometimes we don’t just fall into the pit; we jump in with both feet, either unaware or unconcerned about the consequences. It’s a sad state of mind when we choose the pit over the alternative. No good ever comes from throwing ourselves a full-blown pity party.

You know the kind:

  • We are the guest of honor. All focus is on ourselves and how unfair our burdens are.
  • Other guests include our regrets, worst-case scenarios, and lies we tell ourselves.
  • The music is a sad playlist of past mistakes on repeat.
  • The snacks are unhealthy: self-pity, comparison, and a pinch of bitterness to taste.

It’s easy to stay there. After all, the pit can feel oddly familiar. Comfortable, even. At least we know what to expect, right?

God doesn’t RSVP to pity parties. So as long as we keep throwing them, the less room we leave for Him in our lives. He will sit with us in our pain but not in our pits. He wants to rescue us. Our Redeemer wants to remind us who we are: daughters and sons of the King. The pit is no place for princesses and princes.

Psalm 103:4 tells us He “redeems your life from the pit.” He rescues us from our hopeless situation, and He restores us to something better. He exchanges our despair for dignity. He replaces our shame with a crown.

He Crowns You with Steadfast Love and Mercy

Imagine being lifted from your lowest point, and instead of being scolded or ignored, you’re honored, loved, and treated like royalty. That’s what it means to be crowned with steadfast love and mercy.

  • Steadfast love (ḥesed in Hebrew) is God’s loyal, covenant-keeping love. It’s unshakable and unbreakable.
  • Mercy (raḥamim) is compassion so deep it’s often compared to a mother’s love for her child.

This isn’t a crown we earn; it’s one God bestows lavishly, redeeming fully, and restoring completely are in His nature. because loving

from shame to glory

Psalm 103:4 offers a comforting promise.

We are not defined by the pit. We are defined by the One who pulls us out and crowns us with love. Whatever you’ve been through, whatever bottom you’ve reached, God’s not finished. He rescues, restores, and redefines.

You are not forgotten.
You are not forsaken.
You are crowned.

So today, if you feel like you’re barely hanging on, remember who God is and what He does. He reaches down and lifts you up, exchanging despair for dignity. Your Redeemer meets you in the chaos and shows you steadfast love and mercy.

A Prayer for the crown

Father,

Thank you for being the God who never leaves me in the pit.

When I feel stuck, ashamed, or overwhelmed, remind me that you are near—that you redeem, restore, and crown me with love. Help me recognize when I’m throwing a pity party and invite you into that space instead. Teach me to see Your mercy even when I’m surrounded by messiness.

Thank you for trading my despair for dignity. Thank you for giving grace when I don’t deserve it. Thank you for never giving up on me.

In Jesus’s name,
Amen

Trade the pit for praise

This is the ideal moment to begin climbing out of your pit. Spend five minutes today and answer two questions:

  1. What pit have I been stuck in lately? Be honest. Is it discouragement, comparison, shame, or a spiral of overthinking? Or something else?
  2. How has God already begun to pull me out? Look for signs of grace, no matter how small.

Then, read Psalm 103 aloud as a declaration over your day. Let it remind you of who God is and what He has already done.

Now. If you’ve been throwing yourself a pity party, cancel it. Send the other guests packing, along with the playlist and snacks.

You can’t wear a crown if your head is always looking down.

Grace and peace,

Debra

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